just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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