Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
