I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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