Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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