i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
