pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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