physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I got inside last night via doggy door
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
