I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize