Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
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They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
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A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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