Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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