Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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