you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
