...so i touched it.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
