I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
