Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
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Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
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just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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