I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
