he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
