It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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