threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize