Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
