I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize