Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Are we still banned from the library?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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