I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
