im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
