It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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