She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Boobs speak an international language.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
