At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
