Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize