I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
