Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
