You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
