EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize