Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
