Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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