i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
