Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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