he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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