So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
