dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
