Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He has the fingertips of a God
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