You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
