It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
