New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
