I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
