walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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