Whod you bang
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
