I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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