the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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