Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
