He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
