I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
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I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
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Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce