I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
