thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
