Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
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I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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