Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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