1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
