So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
